“We must lend ourselves to others but give ourselves to ourselves alone.” This does not mean to be miserly with your time, money and attention. Rather, do not give anyone the power to upset your peace of mind. Do not be an island onto yourself, but let your fortune be counted on a personal scale.
As social animals, this is a very difficult thought to enforce. We have to show different faces and adapt ourselves to circumstances. At times we have to impress others and do so against social standards. But these are all facets of lending. Others are entitled to the parts of us we must give to exist in a culture and to earn a living.
But opinions only define your social exterior. Likewise, while human connections are essential and involve not just forming affections, but eliciting reciprocal feelings as well, we are vulnerable to disappointments. However, we need to remember that another’s unwillingness to return affections is not your fault nor your problem. If someone is unwilling to lend as much to you, do not bemoan your generosity. Give the missing love to yourself.