”We do not pick out for praise a man who takes trouble over the education of his children, since however right that is it is not unusual, no more than we pick out a tall tree in a forest where all the trees are tall.” And maybe we should, says the man dealing with children going through the brutal college acceptance/rejection season. Our brains are somehow wired to respond more strongly to rejection than acceptance. The college selection process has become much like dating apps—everyone is stung by a no and immediately assumes those who say yes are defective.
I am fortunate to be monotropic, in the sense that I’m disinterested in casting a wide net. I make my choices and they either work out or don’t. At least my rejections hurt for good reason. But returning to the matter of honors, we celebrate the oddest things and the ones where choices are most capricious. Judging the superior acting performance from people in five different roles seems ridiculous, but the film industry does it annually and we all pay attention.
These things don’t seem to matter until it’s time to do a values check to figure out why cruel acts are being undertaken in the name of greatness. It’s then that we see those values playing out writ large, destroying careers and lives to provide tax benefits to the people who walk red carpets and attend Davos, and creating new funding streams for billionaires to colonize Mars.