“Nothing stops us from behaving properly even when among mutual enemies – nor loyally either. Comport yourself among them not with an equal good-will (for good-will can allow of varying degrees) but at least with a temperate one, so that you do not become so involved with one of those mutual enemies that he can demand of you your all.” It is often difficult to avoid others sucking the life out of you, especially in work contexts. We all serve others to some extent and there will inevitably be unpleasant ones.
But is it enough for us to just comport ourselves in these situations? Without enemies or challenges, perhaps you can get by with proper behavior. But once placed in the most difficult situations, it’s necessary to be respected. Taking the route of respect over affability, sometimes means creating friction. This, of course, can be taken too far as well—every gangster mouths platitudes about respect while gunning someone down.
Getting by can only take you so far. It will avoid conflict, but it will also limit closeness and trust building. A willingness to be intemperate at times—not to vent or make a show, but to directly and fully express deeply felt thoughts and feelings—is the best way for mere mortals to thrive. And by that I mean, people who do not have an estate and a fully stocked library in which to escape.